New webmasters appointed, struggle for control ongoing

CHARLOTTESVILLE - Casualties are mounting as forces loyal to the sitting webmaster battle the encroaching soldiers of the internationally-recognized coalition webmaster team.

"Food supplies are running low, and the UNHCR has struggled to get us the supplies we need," said Red Cross aid specialist Sven Erik to reporters by phone.

Sitting Webmaster Spencer has refused to step down at the end of his term limit. Attempting to pass an amendment to the VASST bylaws which would allow a second term resulted in a walkout of chairs and a collapse of the government. Subsequent elections were marred by violence, which escalated into the skirmishes that have sent many Charottesville residents into hiding.

Gillian and Danny, who enjoy the support of broad swathes of first-years, various soccer teams and some sects of snowboarders, have secured the support the UN Security Council and numerous NGOs that operate in the small city in central Virginia.

"We ask Webmaster Spencer to recognize the right of the people to select their own Webmaster. We want to work together to end the senseless violence," the pair said in a statement to the dwindling corps of international press gathered in the historic Old Dorms area of the city.

SNOWBOARDERS CRUSH NATTYS

OK, so full disclosure, your correspondent is technically a skier. While he shreds on all types of planks and binding systems, he was not invited to the USCSA Nationals in Lake Placid, NY this year.

But, our men's and women's snowboard teams both were. And they shredded. Here are the results.

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GS

  • Men - 3rd
  • Women - 3rd

Snowboard Cross

  • Women - 4th
  • Men - 4th

Slopestyle

  • Women - 3rd
  • Men - 4th

Railjam

  • Women - 3rd
  • Men - 5th

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And if you only count colleges that don't advertise at ski mountains (lookin' at you Sierra Nevada College of Incline Village, Nevada), then all of our results go up by 1, so there.

Here's a pic of the crew mid-shred. Good job boarders!

Shamelessly stolen from Chandler

Wintergreen got wetter

Personally, I don't like science. Never trusted people in white coats. But if I can vaguely recall my 6th grade classes, I'm pretty sure that if a shallow pond is surrounded by snow, and currently being snowed on, then that pond will be close to 32 degrees F (F stands for freezing).

So, I noped out of the pond skim and went to a rugby and polo match in the same day (no joke). But apparently some dummies went and skimmed the pond anyway, and here is Danny's great video of it.

FACEBOOK: TELLURIDE WAS DOPE

99%, but not 100% sure, that that is not a selfie stickYour correspondent was not in Colorado during the Spring Break trip, but according to his Facebook feed, the trip was hella hype. The pow looked deep, the apres ski looked extra legal and sunny, and the fun with friends looked abundant.

Fourth-year Nick, who made this dope video, called the trip "an aggressive immersion in the Colorado lifestyle," which sounds like a diss to all us Southeast skiers.

If you missed the trip this year (or went on an aggressive ski road trip to Canada), then keep an eye out for the SB2017 trip next year. More pics in the "Photos" tab.

REGIONALS REGIONALS REGIONALS

Our photogenic members make the best cover photos.

Congratulations to both of the snowboard teams for stomping it at regionals and qualifying for nationals! Good effort skiers! Here are the results from regionals:

  • Men's Snowboard
    • GS - 1st
    • Slopestyle - 2nd
  • Women's Snowboard
    • GS - 1st
    • Slopestyle - 2nd
  • Women's Ski
    • Slalom - 5th (out of 15)
    • GS - 6th (out of 15)
    • overall - 6th (out of 15)
  • Men's Ski
    • GS - (out of 15)
    • Slalom - 9th (out of 15)
    • Overall - 6th (out of 15)

Here are some of the awards that the snowboarders won:

  • Molloy Sheehan (gets her own category)
    • 3rd in women's GS
    • 3rd in women's Slopestyle
  • Men's Snowboard
    • 1st overall
  • Women's Snowboard
    • 2nd overall

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The weekend at 7 Springs was beautiful, with t-shirt temperatures and good snow cover. The team got spoiled at the hotel, despite the $16/hour hot tub. Original plans were for Timberline this weekend, but lucklily USCSA saw fit to move regionals to Pennsylvania.

OMG Isabelle was on it, but she's okay

The men's ski team was robbed on Saturday, when the evil USCSA organizers disqualified Jimmy from the Slalom event, with no evident reason. Only two of the men actually finished the race, leaving the mens 9th place result somewhat incredible. Here is Brian's GS run on Friday:

The women's ski team was led by a combination of two new first-years, Ali and Blaze, and fourth-year captain Helene, setting the team up for an exciting season next year. Here is Helene in the slalom:

Aidan looks good in this one too.

If I can get some sweet footage of the snowboarders, I will definitely hook y'all up, but at the moment I ain't got none. But by all accounts (including the results), they kicked butt.

The season ain't over yet either, so keep coming to practice and keep putting off your homework. Be sure to check out the Photos tab for more pictures, and more video in the Video tab.

RACERS FINISH SEASON

Captain Zac achieves liftoff.

Hold on, we were just getting warmed up!

Some tears were shed as VASST's fourth-years (and beloved fifth-years) finished the Massanutten race this weekend. Skiers and boarders got to eat and spend the night together in McGaheysville, with much thanks to Hallie's wonderful parents and beautiful, large, dogs.

While most racers are glad to have weekends back to catch up on homework, everybody is sad that the regular season is over. Skiers finished up the season with a great pair of races at Massanutten, while missing the perennial heavyweight Brian.

Snowboarders raced at Massanutten as well. Keep an eye out on results from those guys, as the USCSA Southeast website is currently down, presumably from the massive demand on its servers. From the photo evidence above, it looked they were high up in the rankings.

Several ski racers found themselves very out of place in the slopestyle competition after their GS race on Sunday. Sniggers were heard from the rest of the conference upon seeing the UVA ski racers attempting 180s in their snug speed suits. The snowboarders can definitely show the skiers a thing or two about slopestyle, and also fashion.

Now seems like an appropriate time to thank all of exec for organizing the races. All the logistics and preparation and bibs and tuning gear and hotels would never get done if the hard-working VPs, captains and Piotr didn't bust their butts to get them done. Thanks to you guys, and we'll all see you at practice Tuesday, as usual :')

Helene thought it was a costume race.

 

 

 

 

SNOW BLANKETS CHARLOTTESVILLE, TSULLY BREAKS OUT THE POW BOARDS

Okay okay, it's a little late, but there was a snow storm a while ago. Simultaneously canceling school and reviving the faded glory of the Jonas brothers, the storm was real big. So big that the Bryce Race #1 was a bit of a wash. Wish I could tell you more about it, but maybe go ask Piotr.

The snow really improved the quality of life and transportation around Charlottesville. VASST members immediately rose to the top of the food chain, in that we could ski to Fig for dinner, as I did.

Dean Groves congratulated the ski team on its ingenuity and preparedness. "Good job skiers," he said. "Way to put your talents and practice to good use."

For an extremely chill recap of the hijinks and utter mayhem in the streets, check out Raley's Snow Day edits.

SKIERS: WE LOVE OUR NEW HELMETS

Last year, we could never keep track of anybody. With different-colored helmets, the ski racers lacked cohesion and aesthetic appeal. This year is different.

The skiers want to say thank you to the Parents Committee for helping us out with our excellent new helmets. Our ears are warmer and our heads are safer. Thank you!

 

GATES PULLED EARLY, RACERS OUTRAGED

Practice on Thursday, January 28th was just like any other day. Racers practiced on dual-slalom gates, preparing for the weekend's race at Bryce. But it soon became apparent that gates were being pulled early.

"I was really sad to see the Wintergreen guys pulling the gates," third-year skier Aiden said. "I thought I had a couple more runs I could squeeze in."

The controversial order to pull the gates apparently came from high up the ski chain of command. Captain Michael declined to comment for this story.

Some racers expressed concerns that the early gate-pulling unfairly impacted late-car skiers and riders.

"I was about to show the kids from down South how to ski on ice," first-year Ali told reporters. "But then I had to help carry the gates down the hill instead."

The gates in question. Foreground, left: fourth-year skier Nick.

Through representation, President Peter explained that conditions can become dangerous later in the evening. Some late-car riders questioned the decision nonetheless. "I haven't even gotten warmed up yet," said one disappointed racer.

More pictures from practice.

Pour Some Sugar On Me - First Race of 2016

In search of colder weather and more pow, the crew decamped from balmy Sunday River, Maine and cross-country skiied down I-81 to the mecca of extreme-weather skiing: Boone, North Carolina.

Sugar Mountain is a hotbed of ski innovation if you didn't know. From the cutting edge hood-inside-helmet look to the snowboarding-with-poles iconoclasts, Sugar is a special place. We had a great weekend of racing. Bryce up next!

Marilyn loved the weather at Sugar Mountain. 7 degrees at the base!

Snowboarders and skiiers got to reunite over tea and cookies, after a long separation of 24 hours in the car. If you know any boarders, tell them good job.

Here are the results:

 

  • Women's Snowboard GS - 2nd
  • Men's Snowboard GS -3rd

 

  • Men's Ski Slalom - 2nd
  • Women's Ski Slalom - 3rd

 

  • Women's Ski GS - 3rd
  • Men's Ski GS - 4th

 

Special shoutout to first-year Ali for leading the women skiiers in her first USCSA race. Also shouts out to Scott for finally coming to race, and finishing all of his runs backwards. Furthermore, shoutout to anybody dumb enough to take his phone out of his pocket long enough to take a picture. You took one for the team.

Some more pictures:

Joe trying to put on his coat, but he can't because joints freeze at these temperatures.

Women skiiers lookin' like the UN up in this.

Thank you for blowing snow at the lift.